Dear Woman of Grace

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Dear Woman of Grace,

We were so young, you remember.  We made decisions we had no business making, which in turn involved people who never deserved to get involved. My head was in a cloud of confusion and delusion and I made a series of poor, poor choices.  It was the first time in my 22 years that I recognized the domino effect that one poor decision could have on not just one life, but multiple lives.

The walls I had constructed with such recklessness came tumbling down around me and I felt overwhelmed at the rubble.  I wanted to crawl into a dark place and never come out.  You see, I had always been the example, the leader.  I had maintained my mask of perfection for many years.  Maybe no-one else bought it, but I did.  When I saw the rubble surrounding me, it wasn’t just my life that was a wreck… it was my identity.

And your loved one got hurt.  An innocent bystander was wounded by the chain of events that I initiated.  The guilt and embarrassment took my breath away.

Then there was the baby that was on the way.  In the midst of such chaos, God blessed Jimmie and me with a pregnancy that we so desperately desired.  With the news came immense joy.  Joy clouded by the guilt of a series of poor decisions that hurt and disappointed many.

It was hard to look you in the eye.  When our paths crossed, I avoided you.  I had no words  that adequately described my regret.  Then came the moment I will never forget.

We practically bumped into each other and when I looked up and saw your face, sobs emerged.  Intelligible sobs.  The words may have not been clear, but the meaning of my sobs was evident.

I’m sorry.

And you, woman of grace, you swept this young woman into your arms and forgave.  You poured out your grace on me in a way that so closely resembled the grace of God, I knew it to be a supernatural event.  My heavy sobs melted away into your loving embrace as you firmly said,

It’s okay.

I knew you meant it.  You told me to move forward and to take care of that baby growing inside me and that’s what I did.

Do you understand what you did for me 10 years ago?  Your forgiveness set me free.  That was a pivotal moment in my life.  Had you not responded to me with the love and grace of God, I could have been set upon a path marked by failure.  Instead, you forgave and set me free to advance in my ministry and calling.

My dark days were illuminated with forgiveness and hope.  Hope that you offered by the grace of God.

I have never forgotten what you did for me.  Your demonstration of forgiveness has shaped the way I respond to those around me.  It has kept me humble.  It is a constant reminder of the grace that our Savior shows to us all.  When I look at my beautiful family, I am reminded of your advice to move forward and take care of my family.

You could have told the world how our decisions impacted your family.  You could have made us your enemy.  You could have shamed us, shunned us and undermined our every step.  Instead, you have been a support and encouragement every step of our journey.  Our story will remain secret to most, but I want to broadcast to the world the impact you made on my life in a brief, 5-minute conversation.  You are a woman of grace and I honor you.

With gratitude and love,

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Comments: 7

  1. Erica February 7, 2014 at 11:44 am Reply

    This beautiful! I want to thank you so much for your posts. They speak right to my heart and I relate very closely to them. I have recently begun my first Kay Arthur bible study and I thank you for the suggestion. It has made my study time so much more focused and productive. Your blogs are such a blessing to me!

    • Rachael February 7, 2014 at 11:59 am Reply

      Thank you, Erica! You have no idea how much that means to me. I have been struggling with whether or not I’m wasting my time trying to blog… but I always come back to it. Writing helps me work through my emotions and if inspires even one other person, it’s worth it to me! I would love to see you sometime soon!

  2. Whitney February 7, 2014 at 6:53 pm Reply

    Yay! I’ve missed your blogging :)

    • Rachael February 8, 2014 at 12:04 pm Reply

      Thanks, Whitney! That’s how I feel when you don’t blog for awhile :)

  3. Belinda February 8, 2014 at 12:07 am Reply

    I’ve missed it too. And we all have had those moments of grace. It shapes us and makes us who we should be. Maybe some can be born with an innate sense of gracefulness but for me, it had to be through seasons of needing it myself. I would not be able to empathize as much had it not been for those times if grace being given from a select few places by God or by God hlHimself of course. Grace and Mercy soften us. Someone once said and nice never forgotten it…”Gods grace is there for us to use when we desperately need it. Use it and go on living that’s what it’s there for.”

    • Rachael February 8, 2014 at 12:05 pm Reply

      Thanks for the comment, Belinda! And yes, I understood it. I like your comment about a sense of gracefulness coming from seasons of needing it yourself. That is so true for me.

  4. Belinda February 8, 2014 at 12:12 am Reply

    Wow so many typos sorry. I don’t usually type so much from my phone. Hopefully you understood what I meant. :)

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