What I Gather About…. After

 

Five Minute Friday

I have been reading Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday posts for several weeks now, and just this week got the guts to participate.  Basically, she gives you a word, you write for five minutes, then link up on her website.  Today’s word is AFTER.  Feel free to check out her site here and participate with me!

(START)

My mind instantly races to the “after” of all the bad moments of my life.

After he died.

After the mess my marriage was in.

After I made that huge mistake.

On and on.  I wonder now why my mind goes there.  I think I have always had an easier time with the guilt-part of my faith.  The self-reflection while looking in the mirror of the Word of God, as says the book of James.

I have had a much harder time with the joy-part of my faith.  My celebrations are few and far between, always interrupted by recognizing my flaws and wanting God to CHANGE ME, PLEASE.

Yet I know there is are so many joyful afters.  I just have to make my mind work harder to see them.

After I met Jesus.

After I healed.

After my wedding.

After my bundle of Ava.

After my sweet Isabel.

After I learned to live in community.

After I took that step of faith.

After God gave me the answers I was searching for.

After I gave up  trying to reach perfection.

Wow.  Writing out the positive afters was actually easier than writing out the negative ones.  Maybe that’s a clue for us all…. we can find the joy and reason to celebrate if we simply LOOK.

(STOP)

Comments

  1. micey says

    Amen sista! I’m the same way. But God is good. He keeps doing the work we can’t do ourselves. We just have to let Him. Happy FMF!

  2. belinda says

    We really have alot more in common than I ever realized. I am the same way and (no pun intended ha!) after I read the word that is where my mind went too. I agree also that I struggle with the positives. Everytime I hear a sermon I immediately search myself thinking every chastisement or sin involves me and there must be something wrong with me if I don’t take every sermon personally. So any negative “afters” have filled my life that somehow they have taken on more weight than the positives and have imbalanced my thinking. I seem to always live with the mentality of the shoe…one shoe has fallen and I’m holding y spiritual breath waiti g for the other one. I don’t fully enjoy the blessings when they come because I’m focused partly on what’s coming tomorrow that will overshadow this blessing. I’ve come through a problem but I wil soon be going back into one so how can I be prepared for it. I really am trying to just be in the moment and realize I can’t always be prepared emotionally for everything. Control, control, control…I want to have it but God wants me to give it to Him. Thought provoking as always Rachael thanks for posting. :)

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